Before you start, you have been warned. This is a super lengthy post and I doubt I would be adding any photos in it. So if you mind word vomits, please move on from this.
One year ago, at this exact timing, I was still worrying about whether I would actually get posted to a university (cause results suck, and reality is results matter). But well, maybe about 2 weeks later, I got my letters. I basically got into all my desired courses in all my application (kind of, I wanted double major but well again, results sucked) and then a dilemma arose. Which university to choose? I was considering between NUS and SMU (I was scared NUS was too elite for stupid-me but SMU was too artsy for me). Please don't ask me why not NTU, I don't know HAHA. It was my first choice university initially but ended up being the first university I eliminated. But this dilemma did not last too long cause soon we had to sign up for orientation camps and everything. And to sign up, you have to first accept NUS acceptance first. I think that's how I actually decided on NUS LEL.
Was thinking which camps to join. Psychology camp? Arts camp? O'week? RHEX? I didn't want to join too many camps cause I know I will be drained as shit. Was thinking of YOLO-ing and going for Arts camp. I actually printed everything and went there to queue up for it. But Joy being Joy, I backed out right when I was at the counter (till today, I do not regret my choice cause RHEX's rabakness killed me). I eliminated O'week for the same reason (though it did not happen in the end LEL).
So first, I had to decide which hall exposure camp I wanted to go for. Decided on Raffles Hall through elimination. King Edward was out cause too far away from Arts. Kent Ridge and Sheares only had single rooms (I wanted to have a choice between single and double room). Then Temasek was out cause the people at the booth gave me a quite bad impression. Eusoff cause it was quite a sporty hall and Joy with sports should never come together. So yes, that's how I settled for Raffles. No regrets till now.
Then I came across Arts Rag also and decided to join that cause I knew I would enjoy making friends through a big project. Like I feel like friendships are probably going to last longer than those that I made through camps yaknow? So anyway, I really can't remember how I signed myself up for Psychology camp but I did.
RHEX was a horror because of how rabak it was. And yes, Joy here has almost close to 0 rabakness in her so rabak is a no no. I could not click with my group at all cause of how upz they are and how nua I am. I think I spent 90% of my time just nua-ing and keeping quiet cause really cannot keep up uh. Then came, Psychology camp. Which was much much better than RHEX. I feel more comfortable there. No pressure to join anything uncomfortable or rather there was almost no games that was uncomfortable HAHA. And I really enjoyed it. But like what I mentioned earlier, nope I'm not exactly in touch with any of them anymore LEL.
Arts Rag was one of my huge orientation event. Arts rag really brought me a lot of gains. But at the same time, I was beaten down into my pit again because of shit that happened. HAHA okok too private to share here. Aiya won't talk too much about Arts Rag since I already wrote about it HAHA.
Semester 1 started. Was so happy when I had a 3-day work week (my mondays and fridays were free). But NOPE. CCA had to come in and be a bitch, I end up staying in school for 5 days and wasting my life away on mondays and fridays. The one regret that I had for Semester 1 was that I did not study hard enough. I procrastinated so much that I had no time to finish studying for my finals (especially PL1101E and GES1007). To anybody who is reading this and is thinking of taking PL1101E, my advice to you is do consistent work. If you are like me and like to do notes, do it once the lecturer finishes the chapter so that whatever the lecturer said is still fresh in your brain and you can write more meaningful notes. You can also consider not going for lecture at all HAHA cause really the lecture just repeats everything in the textbook (actually the textbook provides more information so MUST read textbook). Tutorials are fun but really does not contribute to your grade LEL (but I enjoyed them anyway). GES1007 is for those who want to learn ALOT about South Asians (go google who are the South Asians). I'm not going to deny that the content is really interesting but the amount of effort that goes into it is really worth considering over just mere interest. But if you do take it, please do each lecture every week. Don't ever miss it, oh my gawd.
(HAHA should I act pro and actually write a module review? HAHAH more work for Joy, we shall see about it HAHA)
One biggest takeaway from Semester 1 was RHMP. Wrote about it too so not going to talk too much about it. But this is where I met most of my friends from hall and where I found a rather close friend in hall.
My second biggest takeaway from Semester 1 was joining Chinese Dance. I was super reluctant to join initially but I still joined in the end cause Tianran was trying so hard to convince me to join HAHA. Anyway, I joined and I got myself into Chingay. No idea how but I just got in HAHA. I didn't write about Chingay because it was really a real big event. But I'm thankful that I joined because I got to know a few more people from Chinese dance since I phantom their tech class MEH.
Moving on, Semester 2 came.
Started off my sem with having to deal with dinner performance (aka Faded) and chingay at the same time. Let's just say I was tired to the core. There were literally a few weeks where I was dancing every night except for sun. But both passed by really quickly. And then it was time to face DU.
Even though I talked about it already, lemme just summarise. At the start of DU, there were so many times that I doubted myself so much and put myself down. My inner voice was really strong, telling me how much I fail as a dancer, how much I cannot achieve and how much I was lacking. It grew to the point where I had to pull myself away from my friends in dance because I could feel myself subconsciously comparing myself to them. And that was bad. Cause I started to hate being in dance and I could feel myself slipping back into that slump again.
I really don't quite remember what happened from there but somehow I managed to fight really REALLY hard to stay at where I am. (To literally "fake it till you make it, fake it till you be it.") And soon, things were better. I was able to be more comfortable in dance and I did not shut people out of my life like what I used to do.
Then recess week came, what a memorable week. Because this was the first time, I became so aware of how much I have changed and become very confused by all the 'rather new' things that was happening then. Which once again, this place is too private to share (AGAIN urgh). But the short summary is that I became really confused with how I was feeling about everything and I struggled alot between my old (run away at first sight of trouble) self and my new (more willing to explore and figure things out) self. Well, all things are good now. No more confusion because that's too much effort I have decided. HAAHAHAH
Fast forward to now. Present times. After finals.
I truly enjoyed the modules I took this semester. I feel like this semester was pretty refreshing in the sense where I am generally quite motivated to go for ALL my classes EXCEPT for FAS1102. I feel like this semester, I really got to meet really good lecturers and TAs which contributed alot to my sustained interest in that particular module. (For those struggling to clear humanities basket, please give EL1101E a go. No regrets taking it ^^)
This past year has been a year of growth and many many ups and downs. But what is life if everything is only going to be smooth sailing right? I learned to be more sociable, I learned to better manage my time, I learned to appreciate myself more. I was able to strengthen my existing friendships, I was able to build meaningful friendships and I was able to move on from the past friendship troubles.
One year ago, I would have never imagined myself going back into dance. One year ago, I would have never imagined that I am actually given opportunities to choreograph. One year ago, I would have never imagined myself daring to put on makeup and dress up (I used to think that only pretty people can do it. Stupid, I know). One year ago, I would have never imagined myself talking to guys (that's an amazing feat okay. For those who know exactly how awkward I was in JC, the turtle has officially upgraded and become someone who can comfortably insult guys HAHAH). One year ago, I would have never imagined myself opening up to people again and making close friends.
But one year has passed. And all those things have happened. It is times like these where I get reminded that time can do wonder. Time can change a person. Time can heal a person. There are definitely regrets along the way. So many things I wished I had done if only I had more courage. But all these just serves to remind me to take the leap of faith more often and not leave regrets behind.
And with that, I officially ended my first academic year in NUS. I look forward to my next year in NUS and hopefully by then, I would figure out what exactly it is I want to achieve in life.
"AY2016/17, you have been one hectic year. But thank you for all the things that I gained."
thank you very much ..
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