Novelty

So long since I updated this place. And errmaigawd my stats on this blog shows me that someone/ some people has been reading my blog a lot which scares me because what if the person is someone I know. But then I don't exactly publicise my blog or rather I don't think most people even know my blog exist lel.

Life after finals (been 2 weeks or was it 3?). Still binging on dramas/movies one after another. From korean to japanese. Now I'm moving on to thai dramas. HAHAH Damn Joy you need to take a chill pill.

But then with the high influx of romance input from binge-watching dramas, it really got me thinking about the thingy that happened during sem 2 (that little saga which I'm pretty sure is only happening in my head HAHA). Maybe it is cause it is new that's why I got so intrigued by it and bothered by it. Or maybe it's because the people around me, they damn happening so I feel pressured to have something happening too (oh my gawd, so childish I cannot even HAHA).

Actually, up till now, I really have no idea how I felt during that period of time. All I did was just ignore that it happened because there were more important things in life that were happening then. Looking back, I'm still super proud how I didn't collapse from the amount of mixed signals flying around (then again, they may all be just happening in my head yea).

Do I really want to get into a relationship like now? Am I even ready for that? I can't even deal with the shit I give myself, do I really want to impose all this shit on others? Oli once told me, it is exactly the right person you need to bring you out of that shell. You need that one right person to know when to stop you from your own mind, to notice when you are starting to cave in to the negativity and to pull you out from your happy pretense.

HAHAH I sound super 花痴 but I promise I think of other things more than I think of this kind of stuff okay. It is just that cause in the past, romance has never been an issue or priority in my life in any sense. Partially cause now I'm starting to learn how to interact properly with guys, that's why I'm new to this. So it's going to take me a while before I learn how to understand the signals and everything. Bear with me HAHAHA.