Reset.

After being caught up by so many thoughts and a whirlwind of emotions, it took literally one comment for me to finally realise that what I am trying to maintain now is no longer healthy. I could genuinely feel like I was starting to hate what I was doing, starting to hate what I used to enjoy doing and look forward to.

Maybe because I was so caught up with all my wants, I forgot my sole purpose of being there in the first place. I started to allow the things I hear affect me and I started to doubt the things I was doing. I could no longer do something without having a second thought because that was how important others' opinions of me were. And obviously, one can never satisfy everyone. In everything I do, there were bound to be people who would agree and disagree with me.

Took me about a day to recollect my thoughts and to finally realise, it's not what others' think that matters, it is me who matters. As long as I believe I'm doing my best and doing what I believe would be beneficial, I should not let anyone else make me doubt my own feelings. I shouldn't let what others would say about me affect my decisions and my actions.

Was super thankful to have my group of friends. They are there with me to feel with me and to go through this very emotionally-draining period. Even though I feel like I gave alot and I still don't get anything in return, other than the fact that I started this journey by my own choice so I have the responsibility to finish it, my friends were the only thing I was extremely grateful to have. What was amazing was we had our enlightenment period together, I liked how we empowered each other. How we reassured each other and believed in each other.

Even though the journey ahead is going to be still tough, and there are probably going to be still times where I'm going let myself get affected, I know I'm covered and supported by my friends. It was really enlightening to hear a new side/perspective to this entire thing and to a certain extent, it relieved that pressure that I still have at the back of my mind cause I was told that it was not really or exactly our fault per say (meaning we didn't fail or what). Thankful for the people who have faith in us and reassured us more to just keep doing what we believe is necessary and beneficial.

We just hit our reset buttons in our brains. And it is time to look at this journey with our newly found mindset. Time is only going to be tougher from now on. But I feel like with this new mindset, with this new phase of this journey, I'm more than ready to face what is coming for me in the upcoming weeks.

Still a reminder to self to constantly show appreciation for the people around me. Sometimes just an act of appreciation can become a motivational force for another (you never know). Extra note to self, don't expect others to be what you are. You are what you are because you chose to be like that but doesn't mean others are obligated to do the same. Also remember to stay genuine, to stay truthful. People may not always appreciate the truth but no one likes receiving fake, sugar-coated words.

Aightsaights my brain is pounding like crazy (I think I'm going to die at this rate HAHAH) so I should go sleep soon though I highly doubt that is going to happen soon.