Last year (as in 2016), I was approached by Pris a few times to choreo for open class but I didn't go for it because it was right after RHMP and I had to catch up with alot of work. Then I was approached by Priscilla again to be choreo for dinner performance. I mean it's legit the door-in-the-face technique/rationale, I felt really bad for turning her down so many times before that because she like actively trying to give me opportunities. So I said yes on the account that I get to drag a friend together with me. And of course, I got Tianran to do it with me cause who else can I drag in.
We started to work on in dec and honestly, our progress was not bad, we choreo-ed really quickly (with some parts that we needed to tweak). And I really enjoyed doing it with her. Then she had to leave to go home (in China). That was how I was left alone to actually lead the class myself on the first class which was HORRENDOUS. But I survived it with the help from Olivia (thank god for her).
I can't really remember anything significant that happened but soon it was performance day (16 Feb I will always remember this day). So surreal. And there were so many shit that popped up like one of my dancers was rushing from class and she came legit 5 mins before the performance (goodness gracious for her.)
Okay, reflection time~ (don't read this if you cannot stand me being over-critical of myself or a sappy person)
Honestly, this piece is not something I am proud of in any way. Like it's like I don't even want to remember that I did this. I always envisioned myself choreo-ing something I have feelings for. I mean makes sense right, I'm such an emotional person, everything to me must have some sort of sentimental value. But this piece just lacks that alot. I didn't have anything I wanted to convey through this dance. This dance is like legit the stereotype of contemp. Sad, emo, jumps, spins etc. Like it's so technical that I cannot even tank.
For a while, I couldn't come to terms with the fact that this was such disgusting piece from me. But yet, I realised after a while, just how significant this piece is to me. It opened my eyes to this world of choreographing and really made me feel the significant of having personal relation to dance. It made me understand myself in dance. One sem ago, I never would have agreed or toyed with the idea of choreographing. But here I am now, about half a year later (lesser lah but about there), having agreed to choreographing for more events and actually feeling the itch to try random moves that pop up in my head cause i want to store it in my dance vocab.
If not for this one step I took in Sem 1, I wouldn't have opened up to more challenges in dance and I would have been stucked with the idea that I definitely would not be able to come up with a piece. Yes, it sucked as hell like so much that I don't even want to watch it the second time. But along with it, it gave me so much through the process of getting to that point of performance. It really made me understand myself more, like my working style. It pushed me to my limits, in the sense of dance and as a leader. It gave me a chance to make friends, like i was able to make decent friends and solidify my existing friendships. I feel like because this, it also set my mindset differently this sem. I become so open to making friends and like more active in keeping contact with most of my friends. I gained much and I didn't lose anything at all. Okay, maybe except for my pride in dance like meh I feel so ashamed of it HAHA.
(Terrible quality photos but yet they each hold so much meaning to me)
Super thankful for those who believed in us and actually joined our item. Super thankful for the help that i got from people who were more experienced (OLI!!). Super thankful to have been given this chance to do this (PRIS!!). Super thankful for myself for actually taking this leap of faith. I can safely say that I stepped out of my comfort zone and I will doing so more often now.
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