Suddenly, I'm thinking if it's the right decision to like stay in hall. Like am I legit ready to like do this kind of socialising. I mean it's week 3 and I'm really quite phantom for block events. Then I like don't feel the need to come out from my room to like socialise and do things and like make friends. I don't even want to meet my old friends. Once I reach my room, I just want to go to sleep and stay alone and I'm freaking sian.
I keep telling myself to not keep pushing myself all the way and not keep trying to act positive to everyone else. But I keep subconsciously doing it. I keep trying to put on a super happy face for everyone else. I feel like I will one day just go over the edge and tip over and break.
Maybe it's just cause of the endless work and I damn sian. Everyday, I just keep going to CLB to study or rather try study then I'm actually quite tired. Too much to take in. Too big a change to adjust to.
Heard some things and I realised there are so many things happened without me knowing. But I can't show that I actually know what is going on. Maybe that's why they say ignorance is bliss. To not know anything, at least you can just live your life without having to keep conscious of what you say and do.
Going too close to some people and I can feel myself pulling away from those that are really close because I just want to stay in my own circle and ignore everyone around me. Haish. I don't know lah. I just want to take a week off and stay away from everybody.
Fun fact: I typed all these while having "supper" with 2 dongdong who HAVE to choose to htht about things I'm not about to listen and know. Then I'm super tired of sitting down and not talking cause like wasting my time. ._.
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